Yesterday turned out to be rough. I had realllly counted on getting into a local show next month, and, because of that, left the weekend before and after open so I wouldn't get overwhelmed. Their application system is weird, normally these events open it up 4-6 months in advance, and let you know at least 3 months in advance, sometimes longer! This one is different, applications are opened 6 weeks before, and you find out if you got in one month before. It's really tight, and kind of strange.
Anyhow.... I'd heard good things about it, so I applied. And yesterday when the decisions were going to be posted, I hit 'refresh' on my computer at LEAST every 30 minutes, all day.
And I found out last night, I didn't make the cut. Rejection is ROUGH. Granted, most of the time I do get to participate in the events I hope to, and I guess this is only the 5th 'no' I've heard in 2 years, which isn't bad considering there are more than 40 events I DID get to do. But it still stings, ya know?
I've made SO much progress lately with my health/fitness/weight loss plan, and last night hit me hard at how my emotions get tied in with food. I seriously wanted to EAT. Bad Stuff. The Key Lime ice cream in the freezer was calling my name, and the Salt and Pepper Kettle chips in the pantry were shouting 'do it! do it!' While I knew that indulging would make me feel better temporarily, I decided I was MUCH more interested in my long-term goal, and wanted to feel good about my weigh-in this morning.
I just went to bed a bit early instead, and slept off the funk.
8:15am is now my favorite time of the day.
Kids are at school, house is quiet, tea kettle on the stove, and I get to weigh in. Almost EVERY day I see losses, some smaller, some larger. That, my friends, is what is keeping me going with this. I'm proud of myself, I haven't been this disciplined in 2 years! And then, I had yummy-tasting 'cheats' (chocolate protein shake and fruit bars!) to make it easier, plus loads of vitamins and supplements that had me amped full of energy all day! This time, it's allll me.
Discipline, Self-Control, Hard Work, Motivation, all of it.