Friday, January 15, 2016

PINK for my tween? No, no, and NO.

I just heard about the new craze for fashion brands at the middle school where my Mom teaches - PINK, from Victoria's Secret.  She said her 6th-8th graders are flaunting the brand, which boldly posts it's logo (on pretty much everything) as a status symbol.  It looks like it's a real thing.  Add me to this list of 'Mad Moms'.

Seriously?  While I understand that our family is definitely on the conservative side - I can't imagine letting my daughter wear clothing that flaunts a lingerie company!  She's 12, and in 7th grade.  While I believe it's fine for grown women to shop there and look and feel beautiful about their figures, I wouldn't even take my daughter in that store!

Girls this age are already experiencing so much body anxiety as their hormones change things.  They see and compare themselves to other girls.  They have to change in the locker room for the first time. Why would I want them to compare themselves (and aspire to the beauty standards of) to grown, developed modelesque women in sexy lingerie?  While I realize the lacy and racy side of the store is a different focus, and PINK is more about playful, comfy, cute and colorful, it's ALL the same shebang.  It's expensive, showy, lingerie; not simply undergarments meant to just do their job, but thongs and push up bras.  These are meant to make your girl parts look good, with or without clothing - simply put.  How is that going to effect her self-view?  Why would I want to promote that not only to her, but have her promote that to her peers?  Why would I encourage middle school boys to know she shops at a sexy lingerie store?  How does one NOT think that they are going to wonder what else she is buying and wearing from there (underneath her clothing)?  Believe me, with hormones this age, these kids have enough to battle to guard their hearts and minds, than for us to encourage them to think of each other in more adult ways.  Not to mention- grown men see your daughters as well.  Do you want to look at your girl as a potential Victoria's Secret model?  (Can I get a 'hell no' in here???)

Normally I am NOT one to preach, but my adrenaline is up, my blood is boiling.  These are tweens.  These are kids, barely making their way into their own bodies, and we are showing them the figures and models and bodies to aspire to?  No thank you - no freaking way that I am going to tell my young daughter that being 'sexy' is of value. Not physically, or emotionally.  I have zero interest in that. I remember being her age, the super short, tight, knit skirts were in style.  My Mom made mine - and I can tell you, I was annoyed because she added to them.  They were longer, almost knee-length, and not glued to my butt.  I wanted to show off my figure the same way the cute and cool girls were.  But that was a no-go for them.  I remember someone telling me I was a prude, hahaa!  Maybe so.  Looking back, I'd probably do the same for my kid! I thought back then it's because I was a PK.  But now I see my Mother was protecting my body image (and keeping the boys eyes off my booty), it wasn't about being religious. So, thanks Mom. :)

Feeling beautiful in your own skin is important, now AND later.  Feeling sexy?  Save it.  Save it for when it's relevant for others, when it's appropriate - and that (at our home, in our worldview, and mindset) isn't going to be in the teen years.

We don't care what other kids are doing or wearing.  
While my daughter hasn't even shown interest or asked about it (frankly, we've raised her NOT to care about brand names and advertising for things and people she doesn't believe in), I'm putting my foot down about this one before it even comes up. And if/when it does, showing her the 'why not' aspects of this will be important.  I know that we care more about her heart than outward appearance.

I hope more parents realize this isn't just about cute clothes, and do the same, not only for their girl's body image, but to help our young men (classmates, future boyfriends and husbands) do the same.

Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.

Also, 1 Peter 3:31 and Corinthians 12:23 have good words of encouragement too about modesty, the heart and outward appearance.

And a P.S. I'm not known to be a judgmental person. I have friends from ALL walks.  I'm not calling out anyone specific, or trying to speak down to your parenting skills.  I'm not a parenting expert, and my kid isn't perfect, by ANY means.  I'm not proclaiming to be the seat of wisdom, or a role model for all.  I'm wanting to just share, from my heart, from my experience. I just wanting to share how I feel, what I see, and how we are helping to guard her heart.  You may see these as just clothes - do what's best for you.  I'm just speaking from our life, our walk with God, our experience, our hearts.