The big, scary dream

just barely enough strength to stay above the flame... portion of my original painting

Last night as I lay in bed, I had a fleeting thought.... 'WHAT have I done!????'. 

I just signed a lease that is more than our monthly mortgage on our home.  I just committed to open a new business, a corporation, with walls, and plumbing, and a mailbox, and all the monthly bills, including liability insurance. 

the part where I signed on every page.... all 25 of them

I just jumped headfirst after my dream.

It's so much bigger than me.  This thought, this vision, this plan, suddenly has come into reality, it's much more than I could ever do just by my little ol' self.  And yet, I just did.  Last night I decided to refocus my busy mind with my daily devotional reading, and came upon this, from Thursday (the day I committed to the lease of the studio), before I had read this, and also before we were rushed to the ER for hubby:


"True dependence is not simply asking Me to bless what you have decided to do.  It is coming to Me with an open mind and heart, inviting Me to plant My desires within you. I may infuse within you a dream that seems far beyond your reach.  You know that in yourself you cannot achieve such a goal.  Thus begins your journey of profound reliance on Me.  It is a faith-walk, taken one step at a time, leaning on Me as much as you need."  by Sarah Young

WOW.  Seriously? I love how sometimes you get hit full force by what you need to hear.  That is precisely the January 5th reading in this book.  I didn't get to it that day (6 hours in the ER with hubby will throw off your schedule), but it totally speaks to what I was facing.

Here is a snippet from Friday's reading:
"I am able to do far beyond all that you ask or imagine.  Come to Me with positive expectations, knowing that there is no limit to what I can accomplish."  by Sarah Young

Stellar. So this isn't about me after all?  That's a relief!  Cause I ain't no superwoman, I couldn't bear to face this giant mountain if I didn't feel I had a clear path, direction, and support.

Not only do I have that peace of spirit, but I've been so comforted, moved, and delighted by the amount of support that I've gotten these past 4 days, from friends near and far, regarding all aspects of this decision.  It's pretty great how friends who are from so many diverse areas of life have come together in agreement with what I am doing; I have devoted Christians, family members, hippie artists, childhood pals, atheists, art patrons, anti-religious, basically all types, who have risen up in support of this venture.  The one commonality that they have is their belief in me.  How rad is that?  And also, a bit frightening.  Luckily, some of them have also chimed in with 'how can I help?'.  And, I will be answering that question!

I saw this baby pinned on Pinterest last night:

By Ex Libris Journals, on Etsy

Truth! 

And this one, that I pinned a few weeks ago:

Source: .philanthropyfashion

Well, time to grow up, I guess!  As long as I can keep my pink hair and converse, I'm good.

Who's got my back?